Piggies on the railway - Smita Jain

As refreshing as a good gossip session.

Can write, Can't fill loopholes.

She writes for movies and hindi serials - that would have usually put her into the behenji with good punch dialogue talent slot. She isn't by any means. Introducing us to Katie Kumar, a designer clad, bollywood mad, sexually liberated (what better way to show sexual liberation than an affair with a married man) PI. And where there is a PI, there is a crime and this whodunit twists and turns around Mumbai and surroundings, through lesbians, gay men, transsexuals and a groin tattoo to reach its twister ending. There are a whole lot of stuff that is unexplained. A whole lot of twists that seemed forced and a hurried ending but we forget all that in the hail of chuckles at the heroine's expense.

You will surely enjoy delving into the superficial recesses of Mumbai grime and come out feeling like you had a rambling and not too illuminating, mindless gossip session with a long lost friend. 

Take it on a long railway trip.

5/10

The Immortals of Meluha - Amish

This book has a trailer!

Shiva Shiva!!

India is emerging and we are having the luxury of looking back. Amish a finance professional from IIM (must have gotten him through the publishers doors easily)

wrote this fictional piece based a little on mythology, a little on history, a little on geography and a whole lot on the Hindu concepts of continuation, karma and duality. The marketing was unprecedented - a trailer for a book! A preview of the first chapter etc etc.A trilogy announced even before the success of the first book. It actually made me vary of the book, hence the belated reading.

Siva is a Tibetan cheif of the Guna tribe. He fulfills the legendary conditions of Neelkanth, the Mahadev who will save the kingdom of Meluha, where a democratic distribution of Somras makes everyone young and live long (how long is never mentioned) Stuff keeps happening at regular intervals to keep up the readers interest and there is not much preaching - thankfully. Some stories and characters you will recognise, others have been cleverly introduced. Plus Siva being a pothead makes him extremely endearing in my books.A few modern interpretations can also be done with terrorists attacks, water sharing etc etc.

The only gripe I had was that some things like Sati being called Parvati - they were two different women according to my mythology (every part of India has it's own) and other obvious skewing of mythology which doesn't go down very well with mythology loving me. (not because I'm religious and don't want it to be changed, but because the real myths are so rich and colourful that its a dangerous thing to tamper with them) The obvious references to duality - chandravanshis and suryavanshis could have been a little more subtle. A huge mass of people are not just this or that!

 Otherwise its a good read. Although I hate it when the author ends the book with a cliffhanger just because its a trilogy and he wants you to buy/read the next book. Its an underhand technique and if he had done away with a bit of the commercialness I would have liked it better.

6/10

The Kids are Allright 2010

Lesbians are normal people too.

Are they really?

Annette Benning and Julianne Moore are great. Now thats out of the way we can talk about the movie. A suburban lesbian couple both 'moms' are bringing up a boy and a girl who seem like normal teenagers (if such a thing exists, normal in teen context means not as weird as most)

The girl turns eighteen, the age which IVF kids can find out about their sperm donor dad. Mark Ruffalo as the smug, organic farmer/restaurateur  does a decent job. The rest of the movie is about how everyone in this seemingly 'normal' family interacts with the sperm donor intruder. Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson hold themselves well in front of the rest of the great cast.

The strength of this film comes from the fact that its been taken like a film about a couple. Not a lesbian couple. Heterosexuals will identify the same insecurities, hiccups and redemption in their own relationships.

PS: A sluuurpilicios chocolate delight called Yaya DaCosta.

Worth a watch.

6/10

Get Him to the Greek 2010

Its' funny, Its not funny, It's funny.

While being raped by a dildo.

Russell Brand looks like a british rockstar, talks like british rockstar but acts like a bit of a pansy. He doesn't actually have that fuck it all charisma - he is a bit insecure [what else do you expect from a comedian]As for Jonah Hill, he is fat & pathetic looking enough to carry off the role with all our sympathy and a bit of grossed outness.

The story? Aldous Snow is one of the last remaining rockstars, who was wiped out with his last Album- African Child [After drought and war, its the third worst thing that happened to Africa] He has spiraled into drugs, drink and mayhem. All shown with notable pop culture icons including Pink, Christina Aguilera etc etc. P Diddy is Sergio, a record label head who sends Aaron (Jonah) to get Snow for a 10 year anniversary concert at the Greek Theatre. Its a nice premise, but does it deliver? Im confused. There are enough pop culture references to please the hip crowd, a few laugh out loud moments but all in all, little soul. There are enough musicians crammed in to make it watch worthy but every 5 mins the story is interrupted so that the Aaron character can puke graphically. Love is also explored on the side and mucho realistically, so that's a plus.
6/10

Letters to Juliet 2010

A bit of a boring mushy timepass.

Estrogen overload?

I like Amanda Seyfried. Why? She looks fresh, intelligent and even though she is blonde, I don't hate her. Why she is stuck with these light movies, I don't know, maybe its the above mentioned blondness.

Back to the movie, Sophie (Amanda) is a fact checker for the New Yorker and an aspiring writer (surprise! surprise!) engaged to an immensely irritating, fake italian accented(which is deliberate) Victor (Gael Garcia Bernal), who is opening an italian restaurant. They go for a pre wedding trip to Italy, where Victor ignores her for all the suppliers for his restaurant. Sophie finally takes off by herself and finds Juliets house where lovelorn, hormone overloaded women write letters to juliet (hence the name) and self appointed secretary's of juliet answer them. Sophie finds a letter from 1976 from Claire, who leaves behind her love Lorenzo and wants to know if what she did was right. Poor abandoned Sophie writes back and Claire comes to Italy after 50 years to find her Lorenzo accompanied by a gruff with heart of gold grandson (how original) Sophie tags along and you will never guess what happens next ;)

5/10

Due Date 2010

Due Date does not deliver. Anything.

There are better ways to waste time.

Todd Phillips, 'hungover' and dehydrated out of all comic sense or timing directed this fiasco. You could have donated the money to a charity and found a better sense of achievement. Was the morning after so bad that you sent the edited out portions of the movie instead of the movie itself?

Robert Downey Jr - you are no Ironman in real life. Bad scripts and the sleepwalker method of acting will affect the movie you are in. Even if you look good enough to eat, slurp, lick and chomp down on.

Zach - You can do better. I hope.


To the foursome who wrote this movie: Being under the influence of mind altering substances, even if recommended by Julliette Lewis will make things that are not really funny seem like a multi million dollar comedy.

2/10 [2 is for the dog and the one funny joke]

Endhiran (Robot) 2010

Defination:
Rajnikant: The bus conductor who became not just a Superstar, but a phenomenon. Combine a little bit of the do goodness of Bono, the charisma of Sean Connery, the cult status of the Beatles, the spirituality of the Dalai Lama, put it in a blender, add a moustache, some slick angular moves and you have the second biggest star in Asia and he isn't even from the much hyped Bollywood. As Lennon once said (controversially) his popularity rivals the gods.(atleast in Tamil Nadu)

Thalaivar Robo

Robot alias Endhiran is his late but  latest offering. There is no use explaining anything in usual Rajni movies but this one is different. First of all this is a Kamal Haasan movie, so there is a bit of character development and less of senseless style and punch dialogues. So to compensate here is a bit of bullet punch points outlining the highlights.

• Meeheeh Black Sheep! The Villian Rajni! Rajnikanth makes the best villain with a manic glitter in his eyes and the painted slightly freakish slab of make up on his face. (Think Heath Ledgers Joker with a less arthritic make up artist)
• Introducing sci fi/ fantasy to the Indian Junta. We have so many engineers and so few sci fi movies. 
• The scientist Rajni taking a back seat and not even beating up the big fat shirtless guy who messes with his girlfriend ( who messes with the big fat shirtless guy first)
• 61 year old man doing stuff even 30 year olds will not find the energy to.
• Graphics! Graphics! Graphics! Oru Rajni sonna naan nooru Rajni kamipen! ( You tell me one Rajni and I will show you a hundred!)
• The way the graphics were intelligently used. Big but not unbelievable. 
• 1 zzigabyte! ehehehehe.

Then there were the letdowns

• Aishwarya Rai's make up in some scenes, get her a mirror or an eye check up for god's sake!
• Kilimanjaro song. Sue the director, choreographer, make up artist and stylist for defacing some of the prettiest ancient monuments.
• The comedy track? if there was one.
• AR Rahman, you sent the wrong cd. These aren't the songs we heard during the audio release. These sound like rough cuts!! (or was it the theatre audio systems fault?)